Forget wedding bells, it’s election season, and you know what that means—bring on the debates! For the last few months, the road to the 2016 presidential primary was lined with announcements, so much so that I’ve become somewhat Pavlovian when I open my email each morning. Everyone wants to be president.
Since the race began, 16 members of the GOP have thrown their names into the hat. Some were expected—Ted Cruz, Rick Perry, Rand Paul, and Jeb Bush came to no surprise for me—the first three for their open criticism of Obama’s tenure and their plans to reverse every policy Obama put into place, and the fourth just because he’s is genetically obligated to participate in nothing but politics, despite the fact that his true desires lie in a less conventional career path (see George W. Bush paintings). Other candidates came as more of a shock, especially the campaign of loud-mouthed Donald Trump, who for years has threatened to run for the White House, but always backed out last minute. Now, the man is monopolizing the media with his outlandish comments on Mexico, rape, John McCain, global warming (direct quote: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive”), I could go forever, baby.
Some have described the GOP’s ever-growing list of candidates as a ‘clown car,’ but really, it’s more of a shitstorm. Here we have 16 people who can’t agree on the important issues, and instead are picking their favorites and running with them to the polls. It’s almost hard to keep track of them, but for us Democrats, we just have to wait for this disaster to destroy itself, let the dust settle, and then figure out who we have to send our candidate (Hillary, perhaps?) into battle against. Luckily, Thursday we’ll get our first dose of GOP-produced entertainment with their first primary debate in Cleveland, Ohio, and aired on the ‘fair and balanced’ Fox News. Only the top 10 of the 16 will get a chance to debate, but I think we’re in for a treat. My hope is that we’ll be able to gather enough footage to rapid-produce a sequel to Judd Apatow’s 2015 summer blockbuster.
I’m also inviting you to join me on Twitter (@kelleighwelch) during the debate. I’ll be live-tweeting alongside my bottle of wine, so it’s sure to be a highlight of 2015. In the meantime, maybe brush up on the candidates, the New York Times has a great start. The first Republican Debate will air at 9 p.m. ET on Fox News.